Robert the Bruce, Melrose & Rosslyn Abbys, and Lowlands

We skipped the ghost tour last night, opting instead for dinner at the Witchery, a dark gothic restaurant near Edinburgh Castle that's supposedly haunted after witch burnings at the site in 1722. Our seating was for 11pm, so service by then was slow, but KayDee went for the haggis and loved it, even corrupting me into trying a bite....ok, it was good, even though it looked like an animal organ made from rotted blue cheese.

Today was crazy--we boarded a small tour van with about 10 other tourists, some of whom didn't get the memo: 1. please wash the vile, sour-smelling mildew out of your clothes before getting into a van with unsuspecting victims. 2. please hang up your cell phone, especially when the tour guide is trying to talk--nobody gives a shit that you're loud and from Italy. 3. when exiting the van, let people seated in front of you exit first, rather than ramming them with your ass as you push past. 4. if you smoke, don't exhale your last drag after you've re-boarded the van, jackass. 5. when the driver says to reassemble at a specific time, don't show up 5 minutes late in the parking lot talking to yourself, only to stop 10 feet from the van like you've completely forgotten that you're supposed to be getting on it--and if you DO do this, don't do it TWICE...what the hell are you doing? just get on the damn van so the poor driver doesn't have to get off and grab you. hey, maybe save the extra meds for when paying tourists aren't waiting on you.

other than the above, the tour was fantastic, thanks in full to the tourguide, who was a sharp-tongued, fast-witted, well-read scot who suffered no fools (in government, history, or the van) lightly. he had a lead foot too, racing us through green valleys and heathy glens past sheep, dogs, cattle, geese, crows, goats, castles, and terrified oncoming drivers.

the tour departed just steps from edinburgh castle. notable stops included the stunning arches of melrose abby, where the heart of robert the bruce (liberator of scotland, and kaydee's ancestor) is supposedly buried; the rosslyn abby, which figured prominently in the da vinci code (we found some templar knights, but no holy grails, mails, or rails); the scott lookout, where sir walter scott would pause when driving his horse-drawn carriage to overlook the lowland valleys where 13th-14th century scots regularly defeated english armies several times their size (some of which were immortalized in the historically inaccurate film that was braveheart); a massive statue of knight sir william wallace; a mystery pair of women's shoes in a bush; and, finally, a tour & tasting at the glenkinchie scotch distillery, where i discovered that i'm not a lowland scotch man--must have more peat. oh, and kaydee found a black baby bunny in the woods beside a cemetary--she'll tell you all about it.

gotta go crash now--j'ai une 6:15 am trip to an avion bound for pairee.  um...maybe i should practice my french before we arrive?

--s