A crazy pair in crazy Pairee

paris has been a fun but exhausting whirlwind...we've walked and taxied miles, narrowly escaped sunstroke, and gobbled more bread than i've eaten in the past 12 months.   our hotel is on the rive gauche near the popular shakespeare & co. bookstore, and across the street from the notre dame, so the whole area is 12 months pregnant with rabid tourists scrambling  between trinket stands in search of anything gold featuring an eiffel tower.

notable stops included the fragonard perfume museum where we sniffed ancient fats and oils; champs-elysees, where i snapped a photo of a hip-hopping white homeless wino (see below); my favorite, the rodin museum (see the dark solo figure in photos who looks ready to pick up a pair of kettlebells for a workout...he's got quite good form); the eiffel tower and its mile-long ticket line to the top; a risque museum in the pigalle red light district, along with the moulin rouge; a nighttime open air city bus tour; the sun-beaten sacre coeur basilica overlooking the city; and, deux maggots, the bar where hemingway and other modernist writers & artistes guzzled absinthe & gin.

our most insane encounter here so far was during the visit to the sacre coeur.  after touring the inside, we were meandering along the cobbled backstreets behind the basilica when a young man and woman approached us.  they pointed and gestured to their ears to indicate they were deaf, then showed us a pair of official-looking forms on clipboards that we could sign to promote their cause, and officially register any donation we wanted to offer.  

at first i thought the pair seemed legit...i even started to write my name down...but as their ear-pointing and gesticulating and attempts to hug us went on, something seemed a little off...the pair were trying too hard.  suddenly a woman yelled out, "THEY'RE GYPSY PICKPOCKETS!  THEY'RE FAKE!  DON'T GIVE THEM MONEY!"  the "deaf" pair shook their heads and tried to shut the woman up, but by then the game was up, as they'd reacted to the woman's voice.  i was partly amused, but also irritated that i'd let pickpockets get so close to me--some security "expert", eh?  haha.  both pickpockets had touched me several times, probably to determine where my wallet was.  it all happened so fast...luckily we lost nothing and got out of there....

...but then, about 5 minutes later, we turned a corner at the top of a hill and ran into them **again**.  whether the pair didn't recognize me, or just decided to have another go at me, i'm not sure, but the young man headed straight for me with his infernal clipboard.  i shook my head and told him in french that i knew he could hear me.  he smiled and tried to hug me.  i pushed him away.  he came at me again, all smiles and hugs, and wouldn't let me pass.  i saw red and decided to play devious right back.  i smiled and shrugged, as if to say, what the hell, sure, i'll sign your clipboard and give you some money.  the man grinned and handed me his pen...which i proceeded to throw about 50 feet away.  he threw me a dirty look and took off running after the pen while swearing pretty good for a deaf guy.

afternote: i almost got taken again today...ARGGHHH...we passed a gypsy woman on one of the bridges...she smiled at me...i smiled back as she and i passed...then suddenly i heard her voice: "sir, did you drop this?"  i turned around and saw her picking up a men's gold wedding band off the ground.  i said no, it wasn't mine.  she grabbed my hand, folded the ring into it, and said, "this is yours--you keep it!  good luck!"  as the woman walked away, i stood there thinking, "hey, i can't keep this...whoever lost it will surely want it back," when suddenly the woman stopped, turned, and came back to me.  "you give me some money for giving you the ring?" she asked.  it was only then i realized it was a scam...i'm slow, i realize.   if i'd been thinking faster, i would've tossed the ring into the water, or vanished it with slight of hand, maybe turned it into a penny with a laugh, but instead i just folded it back into her hand and said, "no, you take it, good luck for you," and we walked away.  a frenchman passing us told us the woman was a pickpocket, which confirmed my (albeit, late) gut feeling about her, but no matter, she'd managed to mess with me anyway, because for the rest of the day, i couldn't stop checking my pockets to make sure my wallet was still there.

--s